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I didn’t think I could be so angry after all that has happened I should know by now that I’m never going to get a sorry I’m never going to hear those words “forgive me” bc you have way too much pride to even care how you hurt your own family. You know every time I have tried to forgive you something always happens either you disappear or something in this house does either way I’m sick of it. I’m not sure how i can forgive someone who has hurt me so many times. I know i should forgive you even if you don’t ask for it but how can I? I know I hold grudges and I know I shouldn’t but this is just getting to much. I always learned that you should forgive someone who has hurt you no matter how many times they hurt you but if it’s the same thing over and over again why should I? I know all this but it’s just been getting harder and harder to reach out to you, to show you that you’re not alone. A lot of people have gone through what you’re going through and you think you’re alone in this world. But truth is you’re not, you just seem to believe you are. You’ve heard other people’s testimonies about how they were in drugs and so deep in that pit that they saw no way out until God showed them the light I understand that sometimes it takes a lot of life lessons to realize where you’re going wrong but i just wish you would lay down your pride your stubbornness and let God lead you. You grew up with everything being handed to you, what made you go into that? what made you go down that path? Was it your so called “friends” I’ve seen a few of them that have completely changed since high school and some that are still in that party I can do whatever I want mode and they need to grow up.  You’ve gone to jail twice and twice we bailed you out I get tired of helping you. As i sit here trying to hold the tears back trying to understand that I still love you but my heart has been broken by you so many times I’m not sure how I can. I know some people will say let it go let it be but when it’s family it’s closer to the heart. It’s 10x harder to let go. It’s hard to see you like this it’s hard for me to understand why you’re like this. I wish I could go up to you and talk to you but I’m always afraid of getting hurt or you denying it. I just want it to stop and I seriously hope that when this whole thing blows over when you go to court and everything is said and done I hope you can realize your mistakes. I hope you can man up to your mistakes and I hope that you stop this stupidity and think about others and not just yourself.

Now I know i shouldn’t be so angry I should be happy with what I have count my blessings and I do. But sometimes being angry actually helps me realize what I have. I may be angry for awhile blow off some steam and realize I don’t have that bad as I sometimes think I do. But yeah this is all I’m blogging for now.

How can I show you that you’ve changed but for the worse you don’t care what I or anyone tells you anymore we try and help you see the light the day so you won’t fall and screw yourself up again but yet there you go back into your old habits you think it’s funny you think it’s all fun and games but you know what I’m done the day you come crying to me saying I screwed up I’m not gonna help you…you need to see yourself out of this you need to get up and see what it is you’re doing wrong I’m done handing it on a plate to you I’m done babying you it’s time to grow up you’re 20now you’re an adult and should be smart enough to make your own decisions I’m done I can’t keep telling you what you’re doing wrong you won’t listen and you’ll still be doing it no matter how hard I try to tell you what’s the point on wasting my breathe if you won’t listen…

So here’s how it’s going down. You claim no one respects you but my mom and little brother when the truth is everyone does you’re just too stupid and immature to see it. How have I not respected you? In what ways have I ever disrespected you? You know you come into this house and steal from everyone and have we said one word to you? No that’s the sad part is how you get away with everything and I do mean EVERYTHING. You say that all we do is lie when the reality of it is, you’ve been lying to yourself. You don’t care for anyone but yourself. You come in and claim that I drank your stupid wine that I’ve done nothing but steal shit from you but that’s total bullshit. Words hurt that saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” I find that to be a lie words cut like knives they stab you and wound you till you’re at the point of being dead…if you want people to respect you, you first need to respect others. I honestly wish you nothing but the best in life but leaving like this not on good terms hurting everyone around you do you know that we love you always that we pray for you everyday and that you will always be part of this family? Do you even care? I’m quite sick of all the bullshit you’ve put us through but not once have will we ever say I hate you bc we love you so very much! And I’m sorry for everything truly I am but until you set yourself straight you will never see it…I’m sorry that you’re ending it like this but we’ve tried all we can…

Why do I miss you? Why can I not let you go?? I know deep down you don’t care you don’t miss me like I do you don’t care like you say you do…sometimes when we talk you call me baby and your love you still claim me as yours but I think to myself I thought we were just friends? What happened to being just friends? I’m tired of the confusion sometimes I can’t tell if it’s just you’re not over me or you’re playing a sick little game…I’m sick of the games sick of the lies sick and tired of being sick and tired and confused. Idk what to think anymore when you asked me if you were “the one” I couldn’t help myself I almost bursted into tears why would you ask such a question?? You said it yourself you wanted to be friends but the way this is going I can’t. I deleted your number in hopes that, that will make me not think of you, the temptation to text you is gone bc idr ppls #s very well I don’t want to care anymore I don’t want you to call or text me just when you want I’m sick of that. How can I let you go? What will it take for me to say my last goodbye no more tomorrows no more laters but goodbye for good…I just can’t help myself anymore….3

heartofaqueen:

onemoregleek:

#Laurette #My real life OTP

@doyoukazootoo.tumblr.com

and my friend Michael :(

boo.

Someone tell me why i got tumblr….i’m never on here…i’m not cool and post all these awesome things….idk….